One of the worst feelings is being haunted by iftar indigestion at the following day's suhoor...

Ramadan Honesty

I recently wrote this article about the balance between physical and spiritual strength.


But here comes the sad part of the story...I've been having a very hard time actually sticking to any semblance of a healthy diet in Ramadan. I attempt to maintain my composure when the sun sets, but moments after I break my fast, I start thinking about all the different things I could potentially eat, and I wonder why I'm not eating them.

Cupcakes, fries, cookies, ice cream. You name it, I've eaten it. And likely at 1am or so. Not to mention my lack of going to the gym. I just can't bring myself to do it. I planned on going to the gym right before iftar, and ending my workout by iftar time so I could hydrate myself. But by the time 6:30pm rolls around, I'm exhausted.

I feel like I'm failing Ramadan. It's a time when we should have a reign on our desires, where we should build some self-restraint. Needless to say, that isn't quite happening on my end.

Here's hoping the next couple of weeks are different...

Mad as Hell

I recently made this post on my sister blog:

I'm a 24 year old female, and yet I have to be the better man. I have to have strong leadership qualities. I often have to suck up my emotions and just MAN UP because the situation calls for it. The sad thing is, I'm a better man than most men I know.

And I'm angry as hell because women are so burdened with responsibilities and expectations, and yet we're also expected to be the perfect shape, size, and in a perfect ditsy "feminine" emotional state at all times.

Where is the justice in that?

How did it come to a point where women are expected to have a manly kind of strength but also maintain a perfect semblance of femininity? At one point or another, something has got to give. Women are often anchors in their families and communities - the glue that keeps all the mismatched pieces together, the string that connects hearts to one another, and whatever other metaphors you want to use. It's true, it's all true.

Unfortunately, women are often undervalued and not properly appreciated. For example, for a man to say "sorry" to a woman is admitting defeat to the weaker sex.

I'm tired of being put to work and expected to "man up" in different situations, and then later be told I'm too harsh, too stern, too masculine for people's comfort. And on the flipside, I'm tired of showing too much emotion and being told it's inappropriate. I'm tired of feeling like I have to be physically fit to gain the approval of people, instead of for myself.

There is no pleasing you, is there?

So I'm not going to try. I'm a woman that's stronger than a lot of men, but also has contradictory emotions, an easily damaged heart, and YES, hormonal mood swings.

I am not going to change, you can't read me like a book. So stop trying.

So if I want to have a damn chocolate bar right after I come back from the gym, guess what? I WILL.